Fairies – Where are you?

Fat Fairy

Fat Fairy

Will someone please locate the fairies and send them to my house?  Here are the ones whose presence I am requesting:

*Cleaning Fairy (the one who cleans ALL of the dog and cat hair AND the dust from the corners…and the ceiling fans)

*Errands Fairy (the one who can run from one end of town to the other without using up all of my gasoline)

*Cooking Fairy (the one that can hide veggies so that my daughter and I will eat them)

*Gardening Fairy (the one who makes my yard look great, plows and weeds, and picks…..and cans too)

*Argument-Solving Fairy (the one who magically sprinkles fairy dust on my husband and daughter – the kind of dust that makes them shut up when I want to be right)

*Diet Fairy (this is the one who makes the numbers on the scale and the size of my butt smaller)

*Money-Growing Fairy (the one who either plants trees of money or at least pays my bills effortlessly…without my sacrificing arms and legs…. or kidneys)

*Laundry Fairy (the one who gets everything nice and sparkly…..white….even though our well deposits TONS of disgusting mud and rust onto all of our clothing as it is “cleaning” it)

*Car Washing Fairy (the one who keeps our vehicles clean…. and looking like maybe we don’t live on a dirt road….. and who keeps the horse poop (don’t ask how in the world they managed to poop ON the car…that one is for Guinness) off of the car)

*Animal Grooming Fairy (the one who keeps all of the horse flies off the horses and all of the animals’ hair soft and manageable….. and smelling like they are NOT animals)

*Any others who would like to participate

Thank your for your help.

Signed,

Fat and Fairyless in the Louisiana Woods


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