Hello from New Mexico! We are in the truck, driving toward home now. We drove out here from Louisiana Monday morning, and today (Saturday), we are headed back. We came out here to visit my mother-in-law and my husband’s brother and his family. Years ago, my mother-in-law had an injury to her foot, and it has become progressively worse, so she now has a new scooter/motorized chair. While here, my husband built her a ramp at her front door, to make her excursions a little easier.
Well, her closest companion is a pot bellied pig named Ugg. Now, Ugg isn’t a very friendly pig. She wasn’t very happy about having all of us in her space, and she didn’t mind letting us know. Every time we would get within a foot of her, she would squeal like we were killing her or something. It was a little funny at first…but the entertainment-factor soon died out after the first day of our visit.
The day after we arrived, Shelby and I were in her office, looking at her movies and trying to choose one to watch. I guess Ugg felt that we weren’t supposed to be in that room, and she took it upon herself to let us know. She came into the room and just stared us down, squealing about every 30 seconds. Shelby started to move from the chair she was in, and as soon as she moved her foot, Ugg went piggy crazy! She actually charged her foot! I said, “Shelby, she just wants to be your friend.” Shelby replied, “No! She wants to eat me!!!” Unfortunately, I think that Shelby’s version was closer to the truth than mine.
A couple of days ago, we were getting loaded up in the truck to go to Mexico, and we realized that my mother-in-law had left her birth certificate in the house. So, I volunteered to go back inside and get it. WHAT could I have been thinking?? Without even thinking, I unlocked the door and proceeded to the spare bedroom, where she kept her file box of documents. I flipped on the light and kneeled down by the box and started going through the files to find the birth certificate. Suddenly, I found myself trying to catch my breath and move faster than I have ever moved in my life. Ugg was in the corner, and she was looking at me like I was her dinner! She started squealing at the top of her piggy lungs, and I screamed at the top of mine. Hers was much louder, and she won. I was out of there with that birth certificate before you could say, “Bacon!”
Then, today, right before we left, my mother-in-law asked for help in cutting Ugg’s nails. Again….what were we thinking? Well, my hubby being the fearless hunk of a man that he is, he got the clippers and took on the challenge. I was in the bathroom at this time, and he and the pig were in the kitchen. I suddenly heard Ugg sounding like she was being beaten. I darted out of the bathroom and ran to the bathroom to find my 6′ 4″ husband cornering the 12″ tall pig….and the pig was winning. So, I thought that my 4′ 10″ self might be able to help. I mean…it was just a 12″ tall pig, right?? So I tried to hold her back end while he tried to clip one toenail. Suddenly, it sounds from the pit of hell came from Ugg’s mouth….and she took off down the hall and into the office. Well, now we had her cornered, right? So now it should be easy, right? LOL! Right! Wrong!!!!! Anyway, the pig’s nails are still long…..and will probably end up in the Guiness Book of Records for the longest piggy nails.
Moral to the story: Never cut the nails of an evil pig. It’s easier to just make pork chops.